Decider Day - Tuesday 23 May 2017


As you know I have been building up to this day with mixed emotions with the potential for hospitalisation for 2 weeks on a course of very strong antibiotics, a bronchoscopy or further medication.  None of which as you can imagine put a spring in my step.

Before I go into the appointment, I just want to go back 4-6 weeks when quite frankly I felt rubbish - tired, lethargic, lack of motivation for me.  I wouldn't ever say I was at that point of giving up as I will never be there I assure you (especially which all the support I have around me) but I just wasn't in the right mindset to take things up another level in order to get back to where I needed to be.  Lets be honest, we all go through times like that. I hadn't even prepped in the usual ‘Sophie’ like manor - I guess I had lost that fire.

I then went into the appointment before this one where it hit me like a brick wall. I had stopped caring for myself fully due to other commitments or ‘being too busy’.  Yes, we should make our lives so busy enjoying all it has to offer and so we have no time for sadness, regret or letting fear stop us pursuing the things we are passionate about but we shouldn't ever get so busy be forget why we started in the first place.

This was the kick I needed. So I made changes to my training, my medication regime, sleep, rest (these two things are very different), fun and me time. I went back to basics and kept focus.

What I constantly relearn and remind myself of is to never underestimate the investment you make in yourself. 

So, Tuesday, I admit I was feeling quietly confident despite having a bit of a tickly cough that randomly appeared two days prior. The way I see it, I worked so hard and made sure I didn't miss a treatment, I kept my training specific and I was a little selfish with my time to ensure I was doing everything I could. So when the day came round, my lungs felt strong and my mind ready to take on whatever the day was bringing - there was no point worrying about something I cant massively change at that moment.

I went and had my CT scan and if you have never had one, they are a breeze in which momentarily if you close your eyes you feel as if you are jetting off to an exotic adventure because the scanner sounds like an aeroplane ready to take off. After this I had a bit of time to waste so I went and enjoyed the sun with a hot chocolate.

It was then time to find out what the next couple of months was bringing me - sounds dramatic but I guess you just never know what is around the corner!  

Lets get down to the nitty gritty facts; for the first time ever I weighed 59.1kg and I was pretty impressed with myself (must be one of the only girls ever to be excited about putting on a kilo or two!) my lung function FEV1 95% FVC 110% a total of 4% increase in a month which if pretty good going as getting LF up is hard work! So as you can imagine I was over the moon - even more so when the consultant shook my hand as yet again I had managed to prove to him I could improve my health with shear determination and a sign off with no further action until September! 

That most definitely needed celebrating which I did. Of course I will continue to work hard as I want to be hitting those 100’s again but it has re-highlighted the importance of keeping you, your health and happiness as number 1. So remember that. Don't get carried away or so busy you forget or over look the important things. 

Make yourself a priority once in a while, it is not selfish it is necessary!!

Sophie xx